So as promised, I’m on the train on the way to London and I’m tapping away at the long (?) awaited match report.

Tiniest of turn around in the teams, at the last minute “Detention” had to stick around at work to finish “Budgie Smuggler”‘s report. This wasn’t a too bigger problem as “Pick Up An Oar” showed up at the last minute to fill the numbers.

After waiting around for a while for all players (and kit) to show up we got underway. I was told I should include the warm up game as part of the match, which STUDio won about 7-0 but I guess I cant

As per the kit, they were defo worth the wait. We all looked so sexy in them it has to be said. Was great to see “Roll With It” managed to wear the right colour for once.

A HORRIBLE start for STUDio, going 5 nil down within the first 10 or so minutes. Some desperately bad goal keeping from the award winning keeper “Hot Brother” let 3 in, then a shocking OWN GOAL from a certain someone who does not deserve to have his name in the same sentence as goal. So he will remain nameless, sort of, ***** “I like Women’s underwear” *****. “EEK, spider” took full advantage of the bad goalkeeping and put the first few of his 6 away, one of which was a nutmeg on the weak keeper.

STUDio FC fought hard to come back into it, finishing the game at 10-7 to Topville. I “Under The Hat Is A Comb Over” wont go into too much detail about my wonder goal, picking the ball up and taking on 3 Topville players before slotting it in the corner. The Topville 10 was made up from 6 for “Battery-powered Toy car”, 2 for “Daz White Dentistry” and 1 for “I’ll See You On The Court”. Confusion over the STUDio scorers, 4 of us think we scored 2, so as “captain” I don’t mind taking the moral high ground and mark it down as 1. Even though we all know “Jelly Belly” only scored 1, the rest of his shots went over the fence. So that’s 2 each for “Pencil Sharpener”, “Catwalk Roadkill” and “Doesn’t Know What He’s Getting Himself Into”.

I might make a shame wall and keep a list of who deserved to be sent off in each game. I know for sure I’ll be at the top of the list for this week! I still think “Tweedle Frank” deserved it, but kids its always bad to lash out. I wont be the only person on the list who for this week…

For next week, can we please be on time! It’s due to the 45 minute game instead of an hour game that STUDio lost… Honest!

For the record… all nicknames were supplied by “Wanna be ginger hottie” and “Fatty wants a COOKIE”.

I’ve been arguing with myself over whether or not I can/should post the weekly football write-up emails I send around the office after the game each week. The conclusion is that I can, however that I need to remove all proper names. Therefore as this week’s email included A LOT of nicknames I think I will leave those in and remove real names. Should still be very easy to work out who’s who from those in the know.

That’s what the TV is calling them at-least. I don’t understand how watching football on BBC is so much better than watching it on Sky and worlds better than Setanta. The commentators are generally worse, with the obvious exception of Andy Gray who needs to be shot, will probably do a separate post about him when I have the displeasure of having to listen to him next time.

Onto the actual game then, as I write this there is still another half an hour left (probably less by time I get around to publishing). Seems to me that either Sheffield Utd are pussies and are going down hurt for no reason or, as per a usual game with Middlesbrough, they are getting kicked left right and center. Another normal thing for a Middlesbrough game, Downing is a waste of space. His only tactic is to kick the ball past people then run into them to get a free kick and get the guy booked. Very impressed with Alves tonight, about time he looks fit and dangerous. If him and Mido get their attitude sorted its a very dangerous top line. Shame they will still have Wheater and Pogatez at the back, easily the ugliest, dirtiest and generally awful centre back combination in the league. Remembering that this league has Wes Brown in it….

Come on the Blades

Lets talk football… Wednesday is the next installment in the office football saga. Week 3 of the new season brings us one week closer to the end of season drinking binge!

It is also the first chance we have to wear our brand spanking new kits! Lets hope the unparalleled excitement which engulfed the office when they arrived last week, is present tomorrow night and we get a strong competitive match. Of course we are going to win, but that just goes without saying.

Other football related things of interest recently, haha Eduardo! Always a shame to see a pro get hurt on the pitch, but it is definitely worth remembering he is Gunner scum.

Torres hat-trick – good lad! About time Liverpool got some points again! Looking forward to the delayed champs league 2nd leg vs Inter, why they couldn’t play on the Tuesday/Wednesday instead of separate weeks?