This picture on the BBC website had me wondering what the hell Batman was doing fraternising with the enemy! For those not in the know thats Ribery and Demichelis of Bayern Munich.

The real Batman:

The real Two Face:

That got me thinking about other footballers in this game who relate to Batman characters, mainly villains.

Poison Ivy + Scholes – look at his hair, need I say more?

Scarecrow + Alex Ferguson – my dream that his mouth would be shut like this…

Penguin + Rooney – Fat fecker with a stupid face.

Bane + Vidic – Angry chap, only there to cause damage.

Robin + Gary Neville – Boss’s lapdog.

Can you tell I don’t like Man U?

Therefore on a dull, rainy afternoon I thought I’d put together a montage…

The other great thing about Cricket is playing Smacky Chest (yes Carl has a potty mouth so apologies for the language):

Part of the Sports Relief show on Saturday night was a sketch done by James Corden, where he is pretending to be “Smithy”, who receives the Coach of the Year Award at Sports Personality. This then turns into a rant at the nations best athletes, well mainly rant, except for the flirting with Victoria Pendleton.

Some of them took it a lot better than others, Dame Kelly Holmes and Paula Radcliffe looked like they were going to cry / kill him. Freddie (I mean Andrew, but who cares?) Flintoff had a similar reaction, but from the work they have been doing together recently on Sky One he is either in on the gag and knew it was coming, or can’t have minded that much.

Nice timing on the Pendleton piece, she currently has a spot on our living room wall, she is the FHM calendar girl for March.

Thoughts?

I’ve recently been arranging pre-season Cricket nets for the club at one of the local colleges. I have selected to use Radley College as they have some of the best facilities in the area and because Straussy went there.

Radley College is over 150 years old, and very much set in its way. The cliché boys boarding school: no girls; lots of lessons; strange looking tutors; almost military discipline. Check out the grounds, oh yes they offer Golf as a sport and have their own course:

I would have gone there myself, but my hair is too long, and I quote:

No dyed or highlighted hair is allowed.

Hair should be kept neat, tidy and off the ears and collar at all times, but not excessively short.

Anyway, I digress from the story…

I emailed them earlier today, asking for confirmation of my booking after being told on the phone early last week that someone would get back to me ASAP with information. Nothing happened so I emailed. Now, I don’t know what goes on in Colleges like this, but the reply I got surprised me:

I told you about this lesbian just in case u cant remember, 3.30 down the road still, plus can drop off more leaflets and posters…..

It’s a lie, they didn’t tell me anything about lesbians, for a boys school this seems slightly off the cuff.

I don’t know the origins of this, and I can’t be bothered to look them up right now. But isn’t it funny? If I saw that drive past me I would want a picture of it. In the same way I wanted a picture of the Hummer I walked past earlier that had learner plates on it. Seriously, who learns in a f**king Hummer?

(disclaimer: not a real image)

You like?

Thanks to Mr Adamson for showcasing this through Twitter. It’s a nice idea, and a really good conversation driver for the airline, how confident I would be stomping on a plane I don’t know. Also got me wondering if he raps the emergency protocols if the plane is crashing?

My favourite airline story is from when the Pilot on my EasyJet flight to Croatia (you saw about me going there right?), when he did his little introduction he reminded us all that it was a no smoking flight and promised anyone who was caught smoking would be put outside, this was after we had taken off, get it? The same chap, as we arrived said to take all our belongings with us, however if we were to forget anything then to feel free to check Ebay for them later. Funny, and got me talking about him for sure…

What is your best flight story? Comments below are a good place for them

Which urinal would you choose to use? Of course this one is slightly aimed towards blokes. Imagine you walk into the bog at a pub and are faced with the set up above, there is currently no one else in the room but the pub is busy so its likely someone is close behind you.

Which would you use? I will post my thoughts later…

On visiting the link you will see a façade for a legitimate building company, I’m sure somewhere they offer the desired service, maybe it’s a secret service which only the honoured receive?

Check out www.beard-construction.co.uk.

Brilliant, thank you @idreamelectric